Ate, Musta Ka? - DWAN 1206 AM

Once upon a time, you were the favorite. The spoiled one, the center of attention ng mga Tito at Tita, at yung paboritong pagtalunan kung kaninong side ng pamilya ang mas kamukha mo. Lahat ng gamit at mga damit mo, bago. Kumpleto ka rin ng stuffed toys ng paborito mong cartoons sa TV. But then, everything changed. Gen X parents usually want more kids in the house; they didn’t want their kids to feel lonely or be on their own when they grow up. Your new sibling came along and suddenly you were called “Ate”.

To be called an “Ate” isn’t just a name; it’s a responsibility. The weight of being the second parent, the extra hands at home, the one expected to understand, lead, and be strong. There wasn’t any other choice. Ano? maglalayas ka? (alam kong naisip mo na rin noong 10 years old ka)

There is no question that there were times you felt like you grew up too fast, maybe even until now. The expectations piled up—excel in school, set a good example, you know…get everything right the first time. Then came the pressures of adulthood. Find a stable job early, provide for the family, get married, have kids so your parents get to meet their grandkids… It’s still lingering in your mind, is it? Time is always moving forward, and you’re scared you might miss everything in the blink of an eye.

Speaking on behalf of every younger sibling out there, this is our message to you:

Your sacrifices are felt and appreciated.

Even if sometimes they are not always acknowledged. Alam kong may mga gabi na hindi ka makatulog kakaisip na kahit anong gawin mong pagtitiyaga, dugo’t pawis na kapaguran, na bakit parang hindi parin enough? We see the things you hold together even when you are tired. Yung alam mong ubos na ubos ka na pero iniisip mo parin ”hindi, may maipipiga pa ‘to”. And with that, thank you. Salamat kasi narito ka parin, lumalaban kasama kami.

You are stronger than you think.

You’ve carried so much on your shoulders, but you are not alone. You have built yourself into someone resilient, who loves selflessly, someone who gives without question. Kaya sayo kami lumalapit in every slight inconvenience kasi iba talaga magbigay ng advice ang isang “Ate”. Kung kinaya ng Ate ko, kakayarin ko rin! But even the strongest ones deserve to rest. Pahinga ka rin minsan, alam namin na nagu-guilty ka whenever you do but we understand and we got you.

It’s okay to not figure it all out now.

It’s natural to feel unsettled and lost at times. The world may have placed you on a pedestal, but you are still human. Hindi naman parating diretso ang takbo ng buhay, minsan may kurba, may kailangan akyatin, talunin at gapangin. Every time we witness how hard you try to make us proud, always remember that it’s not your success and victories we count; we are proud of you even if you just try and show up.

Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper, 2004

Take your time. No one is in a hurry.

You have carried the world on your back for so long—maybe it’s time to let yourself breathe. To take a moment for yourself. To allow yourself to be free from the weight of expectation. There is no defined timeline for happiness or achievement. It’s okay to go at your own pace, to move forward when you’re ready, and to take breaks. Like kunwari movie nights tayo nina Mama at Papa tapos libre mo kami fast food… eme.

And most of all, know this: We love you unconditionally.

Not only for what you do or the characters you portray but for who you are. You are loved exactly as you are.

Ate, gusto ko lang din siguro mag-sorry sayo. May times kasi na masungit ka tapos totopakin na rin ako. Sorry tuwing hindi ko sinusunod minsan mga utos mo. Sorry kasi alam kong may mga mabibigat kang dinadala. Minsan kasi hindi ko alam paano kita matutulungan e… pero susubukan kong humabol sayo, Ate. Dahil sayo, natuto rin ako paano lumaki, paano tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa, paano maging matapang at matatag, at kung paano magpatawad silently.

I hope there comes a time where you can heal your inner prinsesa self who deserves to be loved and cared for. Thank you for everything, Ate. I couldn’t ask for anyone else to come into my life. I truly believe that the universe conspired for everything to be this perfect so I can get to call you “my sister” & “my Ate”.

You have no idea how much the happiness meter scales up in our home whenever we hear your laughter and very “millennial” banters. Your presence is a form of a gift itself, which shed so much color in our lives in the simplest yet beautiful way. You are the warmth in our home, our ‘yellow.’

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