Unfortunately, not all partnerships make us feel wanted and sometimes we fall apart. Some may even undermine our sense of self or doubt our worth. These situations can leave severe emotional scars, which is what we call ‘trauma’. As a writer of this article, I want to give whoever is reading this now my hand and tell you that everything that I’ve poured here is real. They say 23 years of age is still young, technically, it is. But this is where I can say that my life started to take its hard turns. The messy situations, the dread of the bridges we’ve burnt, and the regret of meeting the people who hurt our innocent little hearts.
Do you still remember wishing as a kid how we wish life could fast forward? But now, we find ourselves wishing for things to go back to the way they used to be. When we were just kids, with simple joys and not a care in the world. Oddly enough, we should feel blessed to have to miss something good or bad that happened in our life because it gives us the viewpoint that we won’t stay in the same place forever — there is beauty in that too.
Let this simple writing be your sign that you can survive anything the same way that I am surviving my battles now; it’s still a long way to go but let’s look at it this way, we choose to move through it, slow and steady. And you are starting by reading this letter from a random broken stranger paving a way for you to heal with them too.
- To learn your worth
Trauma frequently forces us to examine our self-worth. It teaches us the importance of setting limits and understanding what we deserve. Through pain, we discover who we are and, more importantly, who we are not.
- To grow from places you don’t belong
We might feel that sometimes we find ourselves taking different paths with people we’ve known for a long time, and that is completely okay. Not every relationship is intended to last. Some exist to teach us lessons, even if they take the shape of tragedy or the pain of loss. These encounters push us beyond our comfort zones and challenge us to grow in unexpected ways that lead us to unexpected opportunities or even, unexpected people.
- Accepting the complexity of life
Life is not always black and white, full of rainbows and butterflies. It’s untidy, unpredictable, and occasionally painful. Trauma teaches us to accept these intricacies and recognize that adversity is part of the human experience. Not everything we thought we knew we wanted, will go as planned. This is life’s funny way of leading us to a better path we thought wasn’t open for us.
Trauma is not a place we can stay in forever. It is a chapter in our story, not the entire book. We learn to live with our memories rather than allowing them to overpower us.
It’s normal to be concerned that some memories will haunt you. Healing is not a linear process, and it is far from easy. Recognizing the fear is the first step toward overcoming it.
Your experience does not define who you are. What‘s important is who you choose to be now. Every day, you have the potential to create a new story for yourself, one based on self-love and perseverance.
The past will be in the past, but you do not have to live there. Forgiving is one thing, but forgetting is another; it’s not easy. Remove yourself from situations or people that make you feel unwanted because this is life’s way of guiding you to the people who will love you unconditionally and who would hate to see you in pain. Move forward with grace and apply what you’ve learned to create a brighter and more hopeful future.
Healing from any previous relationship trauma is a journey, not a destination. It’s about accepting the suffering, learning from it, and allowing yourself to turn into the person you will become. Remember, the past can mold us, but it does not have to define us. I hope that somehow in between these words you’ve found a light at the end of the tunnel, a very long one. There is no guarantee that tomorrow, you will be alright. But I can guarantee you that someday, you’ll look back and find yourself embracing the beauty in all the experiences that you have gone through — both the good and the bad.
Just keep on L-I-V-I-N.
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